Tell Me What You Think?

[irishredlass]

Dear Flist I find myself with a conundrum. My Eagle's soon the be ex-wife's stepfather passed away early this morning. He was a lovable old curmudgeon and I like his wife as well. Through all of the turmoil created by the Psycho B**** she and I have exchanged very little communication, but all of it has been positive. I have respected her situation caused by the fact that her daughter hates my guts and quite frankly the feeling is mutual. I have understood her need to remain loyal to her child though she knows her daughter is seriously messed up and in the wrong.

My problem is I am saddened by Jerbear's passing and I would like to offer the mother some form of sympathy. It is my normal reaction to send a "real card" and possibly some flowers, but in this case I just do not know. It feels disrespectful and wrong to ignore the passing of someone whom I cared about and respected. Yet, at the same time I do not want to cause her any undue stress by simply expressing compassion and care.

I would welcome your input.

Comments

[lux-astraea.livejournal.com]

Difficult, I can see why you're not sure.

But. I think that regardless of the situation between you and P.B. (daughter) you should pay your respects.

As you say, what little communication there has been between you has been good and I think this would mean she would interpret your wishes and flowers in the best way. Yes, there is the problem between you and her child, but, you'r sending them out of the goodness of your heart. Perhaps a choice comment in said card could underline this? As in that you're sorry for her loss and that regardless of everything else, you sympathise and wish her well?

*hugs*

[irishredlass69.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your input. I will put one check in the "go with your gut" column.

Hugs you back.

[beffeysue.livejournal.com]

I agree with lux_astraea. The difficulties created by P.B. don't figure into the situation between you and her mother. Since you truly mourn Jerbear's passing and like her mother, it would be completely right to acknowledge her loss. You needn't even mention P.B. at all in your card, just your genuine expression of sadness at her loss.

Hugs you, Beth

[irishredlass69.livejournal.com]

The damn PB's have it. All agree and so off I go to find an appropriate card and the PB can stew in her own juices.

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

Ditto what beffysue said.

[irishredlass69.livejournal.com]

Thanks doll. It seems all agree and I shall be true to my inner self PB be damned.

[pern-dragon.livejournal.com]

I agree. Send what you feel you should send. A situation like this is something separate from any weirdness with PB. And if PB tries to create drama about it, then you can always slam her fingers in the car door of the fact that "some things are more important than you and I." (I know, strange metaphor, but I think you get the idea. LOL)

[irishredlass69.livejournal.com]

OOOOOO I would just love to literally slam her fingers in a car door! I think I am off to the store for a card as my flist agrees.

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

Go ahead and do it. Whatever you dowill be interpreted negatively by the bitch. And your expression of sympathy will be appreciated by her mum.

*hugs*

[irishredlass69.livejournal.com]

Hugs back.

It seems all agree I should be true to myself and my normal reactions the PB be damned. I think I will pick up a card after work tomorrow!