Paradox

[irishredlass]

 Okay, I am sitting here and I am contemplating my life or I should say my life situtation.  I am single.  I have never been married.  I have come close but the guy got cold feet, literally.  That is my own gallows humor, but that is what I am left with since he died 7 months before we were to wed.   In retrospect I would say that I am better off because we would not have lasted and if we did I would not be the person that I am today.  That is my paradox.    I am a resonably attractive, above average intelligence, female in my late 30's.  I live alone, no children, no pets and my family is 1500 miles away.   I see nothing wrong with these facts and I am for the most part happy. 

I went out to breakfast with a girlfriend and her husband Saturaday morning and we ran into some friends of theirs.  Somehow the conversation got on to marraige and couples. My friend made an observation that I am not sure that I am comfortable with she said that I am single because I am too independent.  I wonder if this is true or is it the opposite?  Am I independent because I am single? She maintains that my independce and intelligence frightens me away from me.  Admittedly I can be blunt and I am honest to a fault.  It is not that I have made the conscious effort to remain single.  I have had relationships and I want to be loved, but I cannot suffer fools.  I have in the past gone through the pity party of what is wrong with me? Why am I alone?

What are your thoughts?

Comments

[servantofall36.livejournal.com]

Now I feel a fool! I deleted the comment you replied to because I did not feel I had said what needed to be said! Well, I think God had a different plan there! Very apparently so, as you got the comment regardless of my fumbling.

Anyway, I am glad to have been of service. And I agree, "Oh, to be a professional student." Hahahaha.

I, too, enjoy cooking, baking, etc. It seems we have much in common.

I friended you. So, blessings, Friend.

Elizabeth

[irishredlass69.livejournal.com]

Oh what a wonderful chuckle. Never feel the fool when a higher power is guiding our hands.

Apparently we do have many things in common. I have always attributed my characteristics to the fact that I am a Cancer (Astrologically but my brothers may take the other definition hee hee).

Friended you as well.

Shawny