No arguements on that front...coming from an abusive childhood myself. I only meant that he had all of their focus and attention. His first two marriages both went south after children came into the picture. Do not get me wrong he loves his children, but intrinsically (I think) he cannot cope with having to share the spotlight so to speak. I have noticed, in the last few days especially, that all of his speech is colored with "I" or "me" and there has been a constant seeking of reassurance that he is a good and valued person. He is frightened of being alone and sees marriage as the only way to prevent this malady.

Do not get me wrong. I love him with all of my heart, but I honestly believe he needs help. Help that I cannot give him in coming to terms with these issues because until he does he will be plagued by his even greater demon of alcoholism... he drinks when he is alone and afraid and is thinking too many negative thoughts.