Limbo
You know one would think I would learn my lesson when it comes to love. I have after all led a rather tumultuous life where love is concerned and pardon me, but it just does not pay to place your heart on the line. How though do you stop it?
I spent the weekend mopping up the emotional mess of the man I love. He is a recovering alcoholic and I know he is the one to ultimately make the choice to drink, but the catalyst is what really has me pissed off. He is married to another woman. Now do not stone me yet! I have respected his marriage and hell even stood up for him during the event though I knew then it was the biggest mistake he would ever make. Why if I love him and yes he loves me did he marry another woman. Simple he is very self sacrificing. At the time he married I still desperately wanted to become a mother and he could not provide me with children. He is 19 years older than me. I told him then I would rather have him and our love, but he insisted it would be best for us to remain friends and find other people to fulfill our lives. Eeeerrrr! He just does not get it!
Well to make a long story short I have remained single and he married someone within 5 months of this tragic conversation to end all conversations. He met her on the internet and to call her a gold digger would be an insult to all of the self respecting gold diggers out there in the world. They have now been married for less than 3 years and have been separated (this time) for 5 months. This last weekend brought him to his lowest point and a bottle. This frightens me because I almost lost him seven years ago to alcohol and I am terrified the next time luck will not be on our side. Fortunately through two very late nights of conversation the Vodka now graces the Mississippi River and he is on the right track with his sobriety, but this psycho bitch plays him like a fiddle.
I have to hope the next 32 days pass quickly because that is how long we have to wait before he can legally file for divorce without her signature and she will never sign for divorce. She has already amassed over 35,000 dollars in credit card debt. She still has the flaming checkbook! Who would agree to a divorce when they have control of the money and do not have to live with the man?
I know I am stupid, but I love him and have loved him for a very long time. That is not going to change.
I spent the weekend mopping up the emotional mess of the man I love. He is a recovering alcoholic and I know he is the one to ultimately make the choice to drink, but the catalyst is what really has me pissed off. He is married to another woman. Now do not stone me yet! I have respected his marriage and hell even stood up for him during the event though I knew then it was the biggest mistake he would ever make. Why if I love him and yes he loves me did he marry another woman. Simple he is very self sacrificing. At the time he married I still desperately wanted to become a mother and he could not provide me with children. He is 19 years older than me. I told him then I would rather have him and our love, but he insisted it would be best for us to remain friends and find other people to fulfill our lives. Eeeerrrr! He just does not get it!
Well to make a long story short I have remained single and he married someone within 5 months of this tragic conversation to end all conversations. He met her on the internet and to call her a gold digger would be an insult to all of the self respecting gold diggers out there in the world. They have now been married for less than 3 years and have been separated (this time) for 5 months. This last weekend brought him to his lowest point and a bottle. This frightens me because I almost lost him seven years ago to alcohol and I am terrified the next time luck will not be on our side. Fortunately through two very late nights of conversation the Vodka now graces the Mississippi River and he is on the right track with his sobriety, but this psycho bitch plays him like a fiddle.
I have to hope the next 32 days pass quickly because that is how long we have to wait before he can legally file for divorce without her signature and she will never sign for divorce. She has already amassed over 35,000 dollars in credit card debt. She still has the flaming checkbook! Who would agree to a divorce when they have control of the money and do not have to live with the man?
I know I am stupid, but I love him and have loved him for a very long time. That is not going to change.