I fear I'll be nowhere near as helpful as Beth in these matters.
I'm closer to your niece in age and have experience with friends' parents (and aunts and uncles...) who just will not let go of the reins no matter how mature their adult children are. By the sounds of your niece's condition, though (and I cannot imagine living through the deaths of my sister and best friends at our age), it seems incredibly difficult: on the one hand, she is of adult age, but with psychological issues or depression it seems difficult to discern whether she is fully capable of making decisions for herself. Then again, severe parenting like that is rarely the answer, at least not in any situations I've seen. It exacerbates the problem and the child's desire to rebel. Clearly, it's dangerous for her to go to her father's house, but your brother is at the end of his rope. This just sounds so tough, and there is no clear answer.
I do like Beth's contract idea. I know people who have signed similar contracts (admittedly, they were mostly just incredibly lazy and their parents were sick of it). It seems like everyone sitting down and discussing their concerns reasonably (if possible) could be productive. I imagine that's already been tried, though.
I'm hoping for the best for you and your family -- you all clearly love each other and just want what's best. I sympathize with your niece, and it sounds like a trying time for everyone involved. My prayers are with you and yours.
no subject
I'm closer to your niece in age and have experience with friends' parents (and aunts and uncles...) who just will not let go of the reins no matter how mature their adult children are. By the sounds of your niece's condition, though (and I cannot imagine living through the deaths of my sister and best friends at our age), it seems incredibly difficult: on the one hand, she is of adult age, but with psychological issues or depression it seems difficult to discern whether she is fully capable of making decisions for herself. Then again, severe parenting like that is rarely the answer, at least not in any situations I've seen. It exacerbates the problem and the child's desire to rebel. Clearly, it's dangerous for her to go to her father's house, but your brother is at the end of his rope. This just sounds so tough, and there is no clear answer.
I do like Beth's contract idea. I know people who have signed similar contracts (admittedly, they were mostly just incredibly lazy and their parents were sick of it). It seems like everyone sitting down and discussing their concerns reasonably (if possible) could be productive. I imagine that's already been tried, though.
I'm hoping for the best for you and your family -- you all clearly love each other and just want what's best. I sympathize with your niece, and it sounds like a trying time for everyone involved. My prayers are with you and yours.